How Kids React to Divorce

Divorce can be extra-complicated when children are involved. While it’s important to consider the age of your offspring and recognize the signs of stress at the time of divorce, the truth is that all kids go through similar emotional cycles. Your child's two most present and pronounced life influences are dividing his or her heart, and adding a high level of drama to his or her life. Fortunately, kids are resilient, and time does heal all wounds. It’s important for parents to realize children grieve and react to life changes differently than adults. Read on to find out about their common emotional stages and the keys of communicating to your kids about divorce:

Stage 1: Your Child Will Feel Shock and Denial

Your kids likely have at least one good friend who’s a product of a split household. But it’s a completely different matter when it hits home. Suddenly, their normal way of living is disrupted. Regardless of what they've seen, figured out, or even talked to their friends about, they’ll initially enter a shock stage. And this quickly evolves to denial.

In denial, children wonder what they can do to fix things and then convince themselves (or allow friends to convince them) that the divorce won’t happen. Parents need to take the reigns and be open, without accusing, and reinforce their love for the child without falling into bribes and guilt traps.

Stage 2: Your Child Will Feel Anger

Anger is an important stage in this process. Here your child may be battling feelings of guilt and confusion as well. Sally may wonder how she’s to blame in one moment and then attack you directly saying it’s all your fault in the next. Parents need to be understanding and non-judgmental and continue to the child know she is loved.

Stage 3: Sadness and Depression Occur

At this point, your child may withdraw. He needs time to accept and evaluate the fact that the life he’s known is at a precipice. Junior may detach from friends, activities he previously loved, and moreover, his parents. He may feel lonely and as though no one understands him at this point. Sadness is an important emotional stage to pass through, so watch for signs of serious depression. Your Michigan divorce lawyer can help you find competent professional help for this.

Stage 4: Communication and Bargaining Enter the Picture

Sally may suddenly want to talk things out. She may try to reason with both of you and see what can be done to fix things for good. She may then begin the bargaining, “What if I get straight A’s on my report card?” or “What if I go to bed early from now on?” And the anger may appear again, “If you stayed in town more often, dad…” Shame and jealousy can consume a household here. Stay strong and remind her that she is not responsible for fixing your relationship—it`s an adult matter that needs to be resolved to make everyone happy again.

Stage 5: Acceptance Finally Emerges

Junior and Sally finally come to terms with the fact that life is changing and the divorce is going to happen. Periods of joy mixed with feelings of being overwhelmed can occur at any stage, including this final one. But they've overcome the feelings of loss, anger, sadness, rejection, and powerlessness that occur throughout this stressful cycle. As parents, it’s important to keep them on schedules and ensure their activities and lifestyle are as normal as possible. Each child goes through the grief cycle at his or her own speed, so one may emerge before another.

If you have any concerns, contact your Michigan divorce attorney for help or suggestions.

Femminineo Attorneys
Michigan Divorce Help
110 S Main St #200
Mt Clemens, MI 48043
United States
(586) 954-9500
http://www.michigandivorcehelp.com/

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