5 Common Ways You’re Bringing Kids into the Divorce

You’re a good parent and love your children more than anything in the world. And chances are at one point they brought you and your significant other closer together than any other couple on the face of the planet. Funny how time changes things, isn't it? Sure, you’re still a caring parent, but divorce plays with emotions and sensibilities – and it can lead you to make one or more of the most common divorce parenting mistakes you’re making with your kids.

Fighting With the Kids Present

Your Michigan divorce attorney will verify that divorce can turn previously reasonable people into emotional train wrecks. Necessary discussions can become wild and brutal within seconds. Unfortunately kids materialize seemingly out of nowhere during heated discussions. It’s difficult to stop the verbal abuse once it begins. But regardless of the reasons behind it, your kids should never hear you fighting in person or on the phone during or after divorce.

Treating Your Kids Like Adults

If they’re school-aged, your kids will want to know why you’re splitting. Questions may be asked early about why you’re sleeping in different rooms, or why Dad’s not coming home at nights anymore. Sometimes kids just seem to get it. Divorce isn’t uncommon, and chances are they know a lot about their friends' living arrangements. Your kids may be mature for their age and be handling the divorce in stride, but they’re still children. At no time should they know adult issues regarding their parents' relationship or lack thereof.

Getting Your Kids to Take Sides or Play Messenger

Teens, especially, go through a lot when their parents split. In most cases, they’ll side with one of their parents over the other, hate seeing that person hurt, and want to help remedy the situation. But they’re not adults and shouldn’t be treated as such. Co-parenting in Mt. Clemens, Michigan, is an important post-divorce task whenever it’s an option. All too often, however, power games are played, and the kids feel as though they’re stuck on two different teams. Avoid forcing your kids to take sides for any reason. You are both still their parents regardless of why you’re no longer married. Don’t even start venting about your ex with them. And if a message needs to be delivered to the other parent, be the mature adult and do it yourself.

Converting Guilt to Overindulgence

Spoiling your kids once in a while is a parental privilege. However, indulging and tending to random whims due to the guilt of separation or divorce is a mistake. It’s not a healthy way of dealing with your pain or theirs. If you’ve left the household, chances are you’ll struggle more with not spoiling the kids. But they’ll forget about the new toy or video game in a year or two. Practicing normal parenting will be something they’ll remember forever.

Transference of Hostile Feelings from Ex to Child

Regardless of how much you say otherwise, children almost always feel as though they had something to do with their parents’ divorce. It takes more than words to prove otherwise. And when some parents transfer the hostile feelings they have towards one another to the children, it causes irreparable damage. Sure, your little girl may have your ex-wife’s eyes, or Junior may be the spitting image of his father, but they’re completely different people. They’re also genetically related and that relationship deserves respect even if you don’t feel your ex does. Your child did not make the choice to end the marriage. So be sure to see him or her as a separate entity, and most importantly as your kid.

Take the high road and keep your kids out of the divorce. Your Michigan divorce attorney can help. Contact us today.

Femminineo Attorneys
Michigan Divorce Help
110 S Main St #200
Mt Clemens, MI 48043
United States
(586) 954-9500
http://www.michigandivorcehelp.com/