Lifelong marriages are all too often a luxury of the past.
Life stresses can cause even the most stable and supportive partnership to
deteriorate with little warning. But when it comes down to specifics, your
Michigan divorce attorney can tell you, two main reasons continually top the
list for divorce: money woes and stress over raising children.
Divorce Triggers: Finances and Children
Obviously loss of income or financial stress in general is a stress-filled relationship killer. But kids? Children themselves are often a blessing and strong relationships can have a 40% boost of staying power by increasing family size. But when divorce does occur, at no point whatsoever are children themselves responsible entities for the behavior of adults.
A common concern for children of divorcing households is that the split is in some way directly related to some mischievous act or devious misbehavior on their part. That’s simply not true and parents must always alleviate those fears by confirming that fact. However, how adults relate to situations involving or surrounding individual or joint parenting can, and often does, trigger separation and permanent household disruption.
Is Family the Key to Happiness?
Far too many couples are traditionally bound in their thinking to the point where they insist having a family is the key to happiness. But not everyone is meant to be a parent. Over 30 million children – 50% of those in the U.S alone – have witnessed, or will witness, their parent’s divorce. Of those, almost 50% again will witness divorce in their parent’s subsequent remarriages. Children with daughters have a higher rate of divorce over those with sons – 45% versus 40%. And parents of children with attention disorders have a 25% higher chance for divorce.
Studies confirm what individuals are too afraid to admit: that adult relationships are often happier and healthier before the addition of children. Why is that? Well, for starters, you’re a different person when your sole reason for being in the relationship is to tend to your partner’s needs and desires. Once a child replaces that priority, the thrill of being together wanes. Regrets and resignation can easily take its place. You not only regret the decisions you made to be with your chosen partner, but you may also resent those you’re now attending to on a daily basis for the change in lifestyle.
That may lead to resignation and complete withdrawal from original life dreams and goals. As adults are often too guilt ridden to openly “blame” their offspring for their own choices (and wrong if they do), they pour the blame on the only other person who can shoulder it: their partner. Of course, if the partner is shouldering similar feelings, the combined stress pelts freshly built up walls like a battering ram. This is especially the case in the event of unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. Add in continuous financial stress and divorce is imminent.
Infertility and Divorce
Stress is a silent relationship killer that creeps up on an individual or couple until it’s close enough to squeeze the air out of their lungs. Infertility can top the list for the destruction of a loving relationship. More often than not, one partner desires the addition of children more than the other. When that doesn’t occur for whatever reason, resentment, alienation, aggression, anxiety, depression, and eventual divorce may occur.
A recent in-depth IVF (In Vitro fertilization) study testing almost 50,000 individuals disclosed that over the course of almost ten years of treatments, an average of 57% of women became pregnant; while 43% remained infertile. Three years later, several couples who failed conception attempts continued grieving. Those within the lower percentile group were three times more likely to end their current relationship.
Of course, one’s ability or inability to have children does not guarantee a happy marriage, nor destroy your chances. But they are often triggers to divorce. Learning how to resolve conflict and communicate with your partner are the true keys to a healthy relationship. But if nothing’s working and you’re confused about your options, your Macomb County, Michigan, divorce lawyer can help steer you toward the right path for your family’s needs.
Femminineo Attorneys
Michigan Divorce Help
110 S Main St #200
Mt Clemens, MI 48043
United States
(586) 954-9500
http://www.michigandivorcehelp.com/
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