5 Negative Behaviors That Impact Children in a Divorce

If you are going to be going through a divorce and you have kids, then you have a few things you need to consider besides who gets what and who is going to live where. The following five things could negatively affect your kids during a divorce, so ensure you take them into consideration during this tough time.

1. Letting Everyone In Mt. Clemens, MI, Know That This Is A High-Conflict Divorce
If you are fighting in front of the kids, you are setting them up for a long time of pain and anger. Kids have a way of feeling as though everything is their fault, and if they see you arguing about the divorce, them, and everything else, then they will quickly start to experience negative emotions about themselves that they should never have to feel.

You may think that you are hiding your behavior by openly fighting with your spouse in public rather than in front of the kids, and that they are not affected by this, but you need to think again. When it is widely known that you are going through a high-conflict divorce, your kids will hear about it from friends, family, and even strangers, and they will still feel the consequences of it in one way or the other.

A divorce is time to act like adults and admit that your marriage didn't work. The time for fighting is over. You just have to find a way to separate and make the kids know your split had nothing to do with them and everything to do with you and your spouse wanting happiness for them.

2. Putting Off Your Meeting With a Michigan Divorce Attorney
Divorce is one of the harder things in life, but the longer you drag out an unhappy marriage, the more your kids suffer for it. This is especially true if there is any sort of violence going on in the home, but also if there is mental abuse going on as well. The longer your kids are subjected to an unhealthy way of relating, the more they will learn to relate in an unhealthy way. Unfortunately, it is hard to stay in an unhappy marriage and act in a healthy way and, besides, kids see right through any act you put on for them.

3. Telling Your Kids About the Divorce at the Wrong Time
If you tell your kids about the divorce too early, before you have figured out what you are going to do, then they can start to develop hope that you will get back together as you wait for plans to be put into place and separate. The longer you stay together, the more hope they will have, and the more crushed they will be when you finally separate.

Alternatively, if you tell them just before one of you moves out of the house, this will leave with no time to adjust to the new reality that is coming their way. When they have not had a chance to deal with that reality it could be extremely stressful and upsetting for them and cause all sorts of mental and behavior issues.

4. Telling Your Kids About the Divorce in The Wrong Way
When you eventually decide to pull the curtain up and let your kids in on the fact that you are your spouse are getting a divorce, it is important to tell them in the right way so that they get all of their questions and concerns answered and can mull over what has been said by themselves. Remember, they have not had a chance to even comprehend life without the two of you in the same household, so what you say is very important.

Telling your kids that you will all be better off is going to go over their heads. They want the marriage to stay intact, and they don't understand how you could possibly be happier apart – it is just not in their life experience to know that yet. Because they lack the understanding of why the divorce is occurring, you need to assure them that you both still love them and that they still have a family, only the dynamics are going to be different. Then let them know exactly what will be happening (dad or mom moving) so that they can be prepared.

5. Expecting that Your Kids and the Divorce Will All Work Out Okay
Sometimes kids just are not able to cope with the divorce, despite your best intentions. Therefore, having a counselor available for your kids may be necessary in order to help them through their difficult time. If you let them fester in their own negative feelings, they will develop their own coping skills that may lead to unhealthy behavior and an unhealthy mindset in the future. A therapist can help them cope and move forward in life without the internal scars.

Contact Femminineo Attorneys, PLLC to schedule your free initial consultation, get Michigan divorce help, and discuss your situation.

Femminineo Attorneys
Michigan Divorce Help
110 S Main St #200
Mt Clemens, MI 48043
United States
(586) 954-9500
http://www.michigandivorcehelp.com/